Some Favorite Quotes from Jane Eyre

"It is far better to endure patiently a smart which nobody feels but yourself, than to commit a hasty action whose evil consequences will extend to all connected with you."

"Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilized by education: they grow there, firm as weeds among stones."

Just after "chewing out" the lady who is supposed to be caring for her Jane says, "Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine it seems, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavour, metallic and corroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned."

(twitch free, by the way)

Private eyes are watching you...

Have you ever had a nervous twitch? Every once in a while my eye will twitch spasmodically. If you have had one, you know how annoying it can be. Mine can almost keep me from falling asleep some nights unless I mash the restless orb into my pillow and smother it with sheer physical force.

What causes various parts of our anatomy to twitch? I looked it up in my book that explains the emotional causes of various symptoms and diseases. It says twitches start because you have a fear that you are being watched. Is it only coincidence that my eye started twitching the same day I started blogging??? I don't think so....

Needless to say, I decided I didn't want to blog anymore if my eye was going to keep twitching. How annoying! Beneficially, the book also gives some positive affirmations that you can say to overcome this fear: "I am approved of by all of life." So I said it a few times one day and the twitch went away!! But I was still afraid to post a blog....This is an experiment. If I start twitching again, you'll have to take me off your list of blog friends to read. I'll be slipping back into peaceful, twitch-less obscurity.

Broken Jar, Love Intact

So I had a chance to practice what I learned the other day about sympathizing with my kid's feelings--instead of focusing on their behavior. Lena has been working on a 5 foot long, bean and pasta "mosaic" for over a week now. She wanted to finish it up today and grabbed two jars of different colored beans to put on the table. She dropped one jar and it shattered sending a million beans and glass shards scattering. I said exactly what the book said to, "Oh. Jars break. You must feel awful. I'll help clean it up." I wanted to rant and rage and lecture, but I bit my tongue hard and just started cleaning. (I admit, knowing that I had written a blog on the subject really made me want to practice what I wrote about!) Lena helping willingly and when we were just about done she said, "I wish I could go back in time. Then I would just get one jar instead of two." You know, I just had to show love and patience and she taught herself the "lesson".

Insight Jar: like a "bug jar" for thoughts

I've been wanting a place to keep record of what I learn each day. I guess, to be more accurate, it's not that I'm really learning that much every day, but there are "insights" that come bouncing into my brain and I want somewhere to catch them. I hope that I can then observe, analyze, compare them to other thoughts, and hopefully learn something at the end of it all. I want to inspire my children to keep records of their thoughts, too, so I figured I have to be the example.



Today, I've been reading "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Bronte. Something she wrote describes an aspect of human behavior that was also pointed out in a parenting book called "Between Parent and Child". I love it when the "truth" is confirmed by another witness. The idea is that parents (or teachers) can show empathy for feelings, but the less said about behavior--the better. The only way to encourage better behavior is through example. Bronte's character, Helen Burns, is constantly reprimanded and flogged by one of the teachers for her lazy and disorganized behavior. I know that faultfinding and critisism doesn't work to change behavior, but what about praise and loving guidance? Helen's other teacher is "gentle and full of goodness". Helen says, "One strong proof of my wretchedly defective nature is, that even her expostualtions, so mild, so rational, have not influence to cure me of my faults; and even her praise, though I value it most highly, cannot stimulate me to continued care and foresight."



If this really is true, then it makes my job as a parent easier in some ways and more difficult in others. I can relax and lay off constantly telling my kids how to "be". However, I need to "be" better myself. The greatest teacher told parables to illustrate princibles. I'd like to stop myself during those times in the day when I'm tempted to talk about behavior and instead, research stories from my life or the lives of others that model good behavior in that aspect. Then, later, if I still feel the need to say something, I have a parable. In trying to be a better example myself, Pres. Packer said, "The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior."